As the holiday approaches I am filled with emotion. Excitement, wonder, love, and sadness all fill my heart. But the one thing I feel above all else is gratitude.
I think some expect me to be melancholy and humbugish about the whole season, (being as I am alone waiting for the finality of my divorce and I am not overtly close with my family), but I am not. I am hopeful. There are little things this year I will miss. Going to the farm and picking out a tree, attending holiday parties, throwing holiday parties, decorating my home, and the like. But alas I am only missing those things this one year. For next I will be in a more permanent dwelling and will be surrounded by friends and some family who I can enjoy the holiday with all season long.
Although I am missing those few things at the moment, I am still going to have an excellent holiday. I am going home to see people who love me and will embrace me, welcoming me into their homes for great conversation, excellent food, and tons of fun, relaxed company. I will not be alone. And for that I am grateful.
I have been seeing these gratitude lists all over the place this year. I am not normally a fan of such lists, as I believe people should express gratitude for life everyday not just during the holidays. But in the spirit of the season that so many seem to be in, I will share my brief and concise list here.
I am grateful I can control my body. I am mobile and can do everything from feed myself, tie my shoes, bathe myself, drive my truck, and so on. I remind myself everyday to be triumphant in these silly mundane things as they are more precious that we realize.
I am grateful for my friends. I have a select few that I love to the core. My friends are my family and have always shown me kindness, love, humor, and acceptance no matter where I was in my life. Those who I speak of know who they are. They offer me strength, support, guidance, and a kick in the ass when needed. My world would be a very dark place without them.
I am grateful for love. Yes, this might be a head scratcher coming from a woman in the midst of divorce, but it is true. Love has saved me on more than one occasion. Love helped me grow. Love tended to me when I was ill. Love sat at my feet and brought me comfort in fear and grief. Love gave me courage. Love gave me hope. I am lucky to know what its like to be loved. Love has introduced me to myself. More now than ever. And that is a wonderful thing. Love has taught me lessons I never thought I could learn. So for it, I am grateful and believe I will know love all of my life, even if its just continuing to cultivate it within myself.
In looking at this next chapter, I am grateful. For what I have lived and for the experiences to come.
And I am grateful for the time others give to me. So, to all of you who read this, thank you.
